Happy New Years.

Well, it's a new year and i'm a new person. Hah, not. I'm the same but i suppose since last year i have changed quite a lot. Time for a little self reflection. Well, starting off last year not going to jr year i decided to change. But it was to hard for me to change so i was the same ole me, quiet, shy, not saying hello to most people, kept things to myself, and didn't make a lot of "friends" Of course i knew people, but they weren't my "friends" whom always asked me to hang out. Girl wise i was quite crappy at it still, and i still am. Michelle and i didn't advance much because i didn't open up and talk to her about what was on my mind. This was mainly my fault, but i could say that it's somewhat her fault as well for not opening up to me when i opened up to her. I just couldn't.. meet a girl i could hang out with, nor could i actually get the balls to ask any girl out. I assume that for some reason i'm afraid of rejection. I'm putting the pussy on the pedestal right now, and before, but i can't change it because i don't have the confidence. I believe that once me being able to hook up with Michelle now it might boost my confidence a little bit. We shall see.

Onto some new news about Anna. So Anna lives in San Jose, and i live in the O.C. and there's a small group of people who play video games with me in San Jose. I met one fellow by the name of.. Trevor. Trevor is a cool guy, likes good music, easy going, just down to earth. So Trevor used to have a crush on Anna and i decided i should help him pursue his relationship with her since at that time i didn't care for her like i do now. Trevor tried hard, but the both of them just didn't click enough because Anna just did not have the attraction to him like he had for her. He tried hard to make it work, and she tried hard to make sure he knew it wouldn't happen. So in the end they just became friends. That's been a good solid two months or so and i guess Trevor has found a new found love. Her name is Beth and lives about 20 minutes from me. Odd right? He finds a girl that lives by me, and i find one that lives by him, how terrible is that? Well anyways, since my friend's girl deeply likes him he has decided to come down to LA to visit her. Along with him will come Anna. So... spring break, April 10th down will come the both of them on a plane ride down to LAX. I wish i could let them stay over here, but there's a big problem with that since not even my best friends have ever slept over at my house. I heard that they were going to buy a hotel.. i found that a little odd and hopefully they don't do anything. I trust Trevor and Anna, but i know Trevor had a thing for her. In my opinion Anna is a very cute good looking girl and any guy would be lucky to have her. His girl, Beth, will definitely keep him in line though. I'm very excited to see both of them, more so Anna, maybe i'll even lose my v-card to her i would really actually like that very much. I can't say that i could keep it in my pants if we were alone, especially since i've known her for so long.. i've definitely thought about it, what guy doesn't? I know Trevor already knows he wants to do Beth, but i'm not sure about that it could complicate things between them. I'm not saying that it won't with Anna and i, but i feel that our relationship is closer. Although i'm quite jealous of Trevor, Beth is way more into him than Anna is and shows it well. They call eachother and talk on the phone.. Anna never does that with me. I think that's exactly why i decided not to waste my time in going up there. She doesn't really show her affections for me well enough for me to want to spend 6 hours driving there. Well anywho, i'm quite excited but it's four months away and a lot could happen. We shall see, won't we? I'm going to wrap it up for tonight. Evening.