First Free Friday.

So this week i have started school, and my new work schedule and i've been pretty damn busy. Monday as stated previously i started off swimmingly by missing my first math class. So i went to school tuesday, and it was a little disappointing and boring. Firstly, i went to my English class, the first of the day, and there were no cute girls in it at all. I got let out early and had a ton of time to kill, so i went to the middle of the school where most of the action is and i saw my old friend Zack. I've known him since just about... Third grade and he's changed a lot over the years, he was super quiet and shy during elementary and junior high. Then he moved on into high school and bloomed into a crazy ladies man druggie. Any who, he's a pretty nice fellow and i spent some time catching up with him and then i saw the funniest thing i've seen in a while. There was a man, who looked oh about.. 35-40 possibly. And he was holding a sign, which i do not remember exactly what it said, but it had the word "Hell" in it. Anyways, i proceeded to move near the mob of people yelling at him and wanted to know what this was all about. I get near the crowd and they're definitely talking about God and religion. I ask a guy what they're fighting over and it turns out the retard with the sign is saying that everyone's a satanist. He's saying that God is not eternally merciful and our life right now is his mercy and once we die we go straight to hell. Somehow this guy think's he's amazing and that he himself is a saint so he will go to heaven. Everyone was yelling at him saying that he was crazy, that there was no such saying in the Bible. So it was pretty much a Jesus vs. Jesus battle to the death. He also had security guards hovering around him so no one could get in a clean punch or even get near him for that matter. His wife was there with their baby and a lady stepped in to look at the baby and say hi. Immediately a guard stepped in and pushed the lady away so she couldn't get near the baby, i laughed histerically at this. He somehow thought that this lady was going to bash the shit out of the baby with her water bottle. Now people might be a little angry this guy is on acid and calling everyone satanists, but no one is that fucked up to pound the crap out of a baby with a water bottle.

I moved on to my next class which was Psychology, and the teacher was pretty cool. His jokes were a little stale but still witty and funny. He said one that i laughed very hard at but a lot of others didn't seem to get it all that much. "My dog is blind, and when we take it out for walks i put red tape on his legs so people know he's blind." I found this hilarious which most poeple didn't really get it. I would also like to add that there were no cute girls in my psychology class and it had oh.. about 130 students in there, it's a huge lecture room. It seems like it might be a tough class, but for some reason i'm into psychology a lot and i like to realize my problems, and others problems and talk about it.

From there, i went to a classroom which was right next door into my Reading class. I enter and wait for everyone to arrive as i scope out the classroom. The class is small with about 24 people in it and there's not one good looking female in it either. I'm quite disappointed at another failure of getting cute girls in any of my classes.

The next day, wednesday i arrive to school and get into my math class, it's quite full with a lot of kids in it, and there's a few from school. I take a seat near the front middle of the class, and a good looking hispanic girl sits down in front of me, SCORE! I'm delighted to have someone cute sit in front of me, and i'm definite that math class will be one of my favorites. It's not just because there's actually a few attractive girls in it, it's because the teacher seems pretty cool, and i'm not going to have to try hard at all in the class. About mid way during the class, our teacher tells us to get in groups and says "You know, this is the time to get to know that person who you think is the cutest in the class." That said, the girl immediately infront of me turns around and asks to make a group with her, and i immediately said yes. I probably should've been my normal self and said "No", then replied with a yes sarcasitcally but she caught me off guard because she's very attractive. I invite the guy sitting behind me to join the group and we get to work. She's struggling with math but does a better job in it than me, and i find out she went to sunny hills, and knows two of my friends from la habra. Both of which are good looking guys with pretty good personalities so it's going to be a tough fight to beat that. Anyways, i'm not sure if anything will come of it, and i'm not expecting much, but we shall see in the future.

Today, friday, i meet up with Michelle around 3 and we go out to lunch. Same ol' Michelle, boring, talks about boring stuff in which i don't have interest in, looks cute though. She directs me to a Pho restaraunt and we get a beef pho. As i break my pho virginity, i'm deeply disappointed, i pretty much have heard only great things about pho and this sucked. This makes me dislike Michelle even more because she has such poor taste in food. There is no way in hell i would take someone here, especially because it has a B. Now B's are okay, but come on, it's not hard to get an A. We get done there, and we go to get a crepe at some chinese place. I spot a cute girl inside and immediately think to myself, why couldn't i be with her!? I order my crepe and it's decent, nothing that amazing and once again, disappointed. I take her back home because she has to get to work and give her a hug goodbye, after we hug, she stares at me and i am caught a little off guard. I of course turned away and said by, when i realize a split second later she wanted to kiss. Something is definitely wrong with me, because for some reason i will not randomly kiss a girl unless i know she wants to kiss too. And i want to know that by confirming with her that she wants to as well. It's probably a huge turn off to ask "Okay, do we kiss now?" But i don't want to do anything to brash and force myself on her and regret it later. I for some reason live my life with a lot of regrets and i need to change that. I don't know exactly what is wrong and i don't know exactly how to change it. But what i see is that i have no self confidence and i'm definitely afraid of rejection. I think to much about small things, and i have no confidence to do certain things, like look a girl in the eye if i think she's cute. There's just something really really wrong with me and i need to fix it somehow. I get home and fall asleep then go hang out with greg and brandon for a little while. Brandon takes off to a party hosted by my first actual girlfriend and i decline to go. Greg and i roam around a bit and look for this drink called Vault, supposively from what Brandon said, it's Surge reincarnated. Now you might not know what Surge is, but it's the most amazing soda ever made, and they discontinued it in 2002, and they only had it at Chuck-e-Cheese. So needless to say, i missed it a lot. We went to five 7-11's, albertsons, and a CVS. CVS was our final destination and we find it there and rejoice! I try it, and it's delicious, but it's not Surge, it's a little more citrus'y than Surge. I get home and talk a bit to Anna, and i become depressed because i want her so badly, but i can't have her and she won't even throw me a rope. She doesn't express her emotions about me to me, so i am just guessing she thinks of me as a friend and only a friend. All the while, i'm over here having my heart torn up still because i can't help but have fallen for her. I try to ignore it and just give up on it, but it's hard to let go. Hopefully i can meet someone new to have a good time with to make me forget about her. Good night.