I can't change.

So i talked to Anna two nights ago and.. well it went somewhere, a little further than it has gone before. She got more.. in depth with talking about her and i as a couple. She's got problems expressing her emotions or love for me over the computer which is understandable. We've never met so we could act totally different around each other in person. But for me, there's something about her that always drags me back to her. Maybe it's because she gives me the attention i've never gotten from a girl before, or maybe it's because i actually do sincerely like her. I do worry about her too, last night her dad came into the room while she was doing homework and she left, then came back and said she was going to her moms and that was kinda it. So i'm guessing her dad yelled at her, or worse.. hopefully she's okay, i asked her around 2 or so if she was fine to make sure and she said she was safe. I lost some sleep thinking about if she was okay or not because she could say she's safe when she really isn't. I just know that this probably won't go anywhere merely because she can not do long distance relationships at all. She has a big problem accepting the fact she likes someone that lives 6 hours away that she's never met. In her words she feels as if "I'm in love with a computer" because that's the only way we communicate. It's depressing to know she's going through such a hard time and i can't be there next to her to comfort her and let her know how much i like her. I guess all it will ever be is just a friendship and nothing more, i should try finding a new girl to crush over.. Oh and i locked myself out of my work's office and i used a credit card not knowing if it would actually work, and it did. I picked a fucking lock with a credit card, it felt so badass. I'm one step closer to becomming a ninja theif stalker. Anywho, i saw this movie the other day, and i forgot it's name, but it was a documentry about Japanese Male Hosts, which is pretty much a strip club without the stripping. Women go there to get healed emotionally rather than physically. There's a ton of places to get sex or to get physical pleasure, but at this place the hosts rely on their way with words in seducing the girls into loving them. They drink a shit ton of champange, enough to make sure they don't live very long, they make tons of fucking cash, and their customers are actually relatively attractive women. The thing they pointed out was that the customers that come in are usually prostitutes that already get the sexual satisfaction because of their work, but they don't get the emotional healing from having a boyfriend. That's where the host comes in. I saw this and i immediately thought of george and i working as a host like that in japan. It sounds effing amazing. Anyways, i started this before school.. i need to get ready, later on party people.