The turn around.

So after much thought and discussion about this long distance relationship i have finally come to a conclusion. I will not pursue anything and not expect anything with or from Anna. I realize how everything just went to my head how excited i got when she said she wanted to go with me to Japan, and how she loved my personality. But in the end i got my head turned on straight by my great friend Greg. Friends aren't there to say "Hey yeah, that's a good idea, you should definitely do that." Especially when it's a bad idea. They're there to give you another perspective, even if you hate them for it take it, suck it up, look at it, and accept it. The good friends are usually right about most decisions you make, and the bad friends usually don't listen or care what you have to say and would rather just agree with you. I appreciate having a great friend like Greg around to keep me in check.

On that note, i went to Kevin's dorm again and met his frat brother, nice guy only spent an hour there because i decided the gym was a better idea than sitting around smoking hookah. I would really like to improve my looks by hitting the gym as much as possible all while eating healthy. The problem is Greg and i both do not have the discipline to eat healthy. The working out part is the easiest, changing our eating habbits because we enjoy food so much is the hard part.

Another girl - friend of mine has been talking to me here and there recently, and i think i might plan on pursuing that as a.. hook up buddy. Lets get some backround on her shall we? I met her freshman year at my friends birthday party, probably the only all asian birthday party i've ever been to. Most of the guys there were lame nerds likewise with the birthday boy. Although he had met a girl at his new school (he left his old one because he got his ass beat by some bully, i thought it only happened in movies). But anyways, he had met this girl named... Michelle. Michelle is full japanese like me, short about 4'10'' i don't know small, 90 pounds? She's actually quite cute and i thought she was. But the birthday boy had mentioned earlier that she was his girlfriend so i automatically figured that she wasn't up for grabs and i didn't attempt anything. We never talked at all after that until about.. two years ago. Right before i started talking to Anna during the summer. So immediately we kind of hit it off, we poked jokes, i messed up and said that i liked her when i thought she said she liked me. We both didn't drive, i know sad two seniors in high school not driving, so it was hard. But we decided to meet up and i was pretty nervous. We walked around a bit and hit it off pretty good i was my usual self, sarcastic, witty, obnoxious, egotistically sarcastic, but still i was a gentleman and paid for everything. I didn't make a move mainly because i'm a little shy, and i don't want to be to rash move in on her and her not want the same thing mutually. I can say i was quite bad at this relationship thing and we weren't connecting as well as i wanted to mainly because she won't open up to me. So we started dating a little bit more, never classified anything as bf gf deal which i didn't care. But it died out and we still talked a bit, so i asked her to prom. Prom night.. well to be honest i didn't have a big group of friends in high school, the friends i did have didn't go to prom so it was awkward. We talked a bit, she was boring, and once we hit that dance floor, i loved every minute of it. We then proceeded to an after party which was super lame and i just sat there. We didn't talk to much, and she drank a little. In the end she needed to go home soon so i called my dad to pick us up. (Bust i know right?! My dad driving us around for prom? What a loser!) after prom, it died period. I tried to get things flowing again but she flakes way way way to much. I despise and hate her for that. I try maybe to hard to make it work, and i just waste my time and effort for her to make up some lame excuse like "Oh my mom isn't home so she can't take me... I'm with my dad at the store i can't go" Just really lame excuses i can tell are lies. Everytime, she'll say she's free one day, and on that day she'll cancel on me. So alas i gave up and i dislike her a lot. Up until recently she started to talk to me a bit more, small talk, oh boy could we not pass the small talk. Nothing could break the ice and get over the small talk with her that's all it was small talk small talk small talk. But just tonight, rather last night, she showed me a picture of her at EDC and i literally jizzed my pants. She looked very very sexy. Her shirt was hiked up, and her abs were showing, everything just looked magnificent. And might i add, she's not the best looking, just cute like every japanese girl, cute. I'd rate her a good 6 after viewing the photo. And now, all i want to do is hook up with her and actually i wouldn't mind having sex with her. I feel she's not a big enough stranger for me to feel like i'm doing some randy. But i feel like if i have sex with her and we understand that the sex is mutual, good fun then we can have something. So i am attempting to see how i can work this plan out. Slowly but surely i want to start taking everything to the next level, from first to home base.